A Whatever Life
by Far.Away.Angel
Summary: Kaoru is sick of getting hurt because of her feelings so she leaves.Will Kenshin get her back in time? Just a spur of the moment oneshot I wrote based on the song by Haylie Duff


**A Whatever Life**

**A/N: **This was a basic spur of the moment fic I decided to write so don't be upset if it isn't as good as you thought it would be.I still hope all of you like it though.

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Kaoru thought about what had just happened. Kenshin just didn't get it. He wasn't worthless!!!!!! No, he meant everything to her. He might have been the battosai at one point, but not anymore!!!No, he was Kenshin Himura. Not a wanderer anymore either at that!! No, he was Kenshin Himura, part of her family, and someone that everyone had loved. She also knew he was like a father to Yahiko. Maybe...maybe she just needed time alone though. She knew she cared so deeply about Kenshin. She loved him, but what exactly is love??? Would she maybe discover it by wandering around. No. Love is different for everyone so even if she did ask people what it was she would get a different answer from everyone. She perhaps just needed some time to herself away from the dojo. She knew where she could go. It wouldn't be far and she would be able to keep to herself for a while, maybe try to forget about Kenshin because she knew he would never be hers. Although she would see him again when she got back maybe it would work, and maybe it would cure her sorrow. Plus she would have one of her good friends there with her to consult her feelings with. It was settled then. She got a a piece of paper and some ink to write a letter to Kenshin, which also included a song she had heard once which she hoped would help Kenshin with realizing that he wasn't worthless. And to not live blindly.

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Dear Kenshin, 

I have decided to leave for a short while to sort out my feelings. I guess things are just too much for me around here. I won't go far. I won't even be out of Tokyo, but don't worry about me. Please, I leave the dojo in your hands.I guess the reason I need some time alone is because I do realize that I love you. I realize it but I know you will never love me. The following is a song my father used to sing to me. It told me to keep living no matter what. I will see you when I get back, but maybe it won't hurt then to know that you don't care about the the way I do you right now. I will be with a friend.

_**Did I hear you say Whatever**_

_**Turn and walk away forever**_

_**Was it my mistake or did we just get too close?**_

_**Well till we meet again I think you better learn to**_

_**Live for the sake of living**_

_**Love till your heart is breaking**_

_**Give your all and dont hold back, tell the truth and dont forget to Laugh till your body's aching**_

_**Cry till your hands are shaking**_

_**Wherever you go, whatever you do dont live a whatever life.**_

_**Betcha think its cool to never**_

_**Care about the things that matter**_

_**Was it just a dream or did we feel something real?**_

_**You'll be all alone until you finally start to**_

_**Live for the sake of living**_

_**Love till your heart is breaking**_

_**Give your all and dont hold back, tell the truth and dont forget to Laugh till your body's aching**_

_**Cry till your hands are shaking**_

_**Wherever you go, whatever you do dont live a whatever life.**_

_**It's been a long time waiting till I'm moving on.**_

_**I'm ready to be strong and**_

_**Live for the sake of living**_

_**Love till your heart is breaking**_

_**Give your all and dont hold back, tell the truth and dont forget to Laugh till your body's aching**_

_**Cry till your hands are shaking**_

_**Wherever you go, whatever you do dont live a whatever life.**_

_**Live for the sake of living**_

_**Love till your heart is breaking**_

_**Laugh till your body's aching**_

_**Cry till your hands are shaking**_

_**Live for the sake of living**_

_**Love till your heart is breaking**_

_**Laugh till your body's aching**_

_**Cry till your hands are shaking**_

_**Whatever you do don't live a whatever life**_

Please don't hate me Kenshin. I need to do this for myself. Please don't hate me. and please take care of Yahiko while I am gone. I won't be gone for long. Just until I sort out my feelings because I'm so sick of getting hurt...

Goodbye for now,

Kaoru

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Kaoru started to cry when she finished the letter. She knew she might not ever forget him, but there would still be the chance. She was so sick of having her heart so broken too. When she found out about Tomoe she knew he could never love her... 

Kaoru slowly walked down the hall with her luggage on her back and the letter in her hand. She slowly slipped the letter under Kenshin's door and left in the dead of the night.

Kenshin awoke the next morning with a strange feeling. Kaoru had run off to her room again after yelling at him about him not being unworthy last night. He was though and he didn't deserve her he thought, but he did love her so much.

Kenshin's thoughts shifted as he saw the little piece of paper by the door. Hmmmm he thought as he picked it up and read it...NO. He thought. No, if no it couldn't happen. He couldn't lose Kaoru. Even...even. No he thought I don't deserve her, but the lyrics of the song played over and over in his mind.But he had to give love another shot. He knew where she had gone. She had left too many clues in the letter. It was still early and Yahiko wouldn't be awake yet. He got up and got dressed before he quickly ran out the door towards Megumi's. Yea he knew she was there. There was nowhere else she could be considering what her letter had said.

He slowly came to a stop outside Megumi's door and knocked.

Megumi sighed knowing who it had been that just knocked. Kaoru had told her about the letter and she even noticed all the clues which made Kaoru feel stupid."That's him Kaoru.Now are you going to face him or run fromt the one you love. I know sir Ken cares about you deeply so I don't know why you're so stupid!!"

"Shut up Megumi!!!!! Kenshin could never care about me that way!!!!

Megumi just sighed at Kaoru's stupidity as she opened the door. Outside the door was the man that justified her guess."Why sir Ken what a lovely suprise! Is there something you need?? You're not hurt are you?" Megumi asked trying to hide Kaoru.

Kenshin didn't even talk as he saw who was standing in the doorway behind her. Kaoru. His Kaore was there looking sad. It broke his heart to see her like that. He quickly rushed over to her.

"Kenshin, I told you not to come look for me!! Why??? Why can't you just let me be for a while??"

Kenshin felt his heart shatter at those words. She sounded so hurt and so not like the Kaoru he and everyone else knew."I know Miss Kaoru, but before I give you the time you ask for will you please let me confess something before I lose the chance forever?" Kenshin was hopeful that she would hear him out.

Kaoru nodded her head slowly knowing that even if she said no it wouldn't help.

Kenshin sighed as he began, "It's true what I told you about Tomoe, but when I became a wanderer I swore not to love again."

Kaoru started to cry at those words.

Kenshin brought his hands up to wipe the tears off his precious angels face.(Megumi had left knowing that they needed time alone!!) "Let me finish," he stated softly. "but then I met you. My heart felt warmed again for the first time and I knew you had captured my heart. I love you, Kaoru. Please just let me love you." he pleaded hopefully.

Kaoru trembled at the sound of the words she had wanted to hear for so long.She collapsed into Kenshin's arms and sobbed happy tears before she looked up at him and smiled a true smile."Thank you," she whispered.

Kenshin felt a wisp of relief as she smiled again. He knew this would be sudden but he bent down and closed the gap between them as he kissed her with everything he had.

Kaoru gasped at his sudden forwardness, but nevertheless kissed him back.

After a minute or so they finally broke apart."Let's go home." Kenshin stated softly.

Kaoru nodded.

When they were by the river on their way home Kenshin stopped abruptly and looked at his beloved Kaoru.

"Is something wrong, Kenshin??" Kaoru was puzzled.

Kenshin shook his head," No, I just forgot to tell you one more thing.I promise you that I won't live a whatever life from this day on."

Kaoru smiled again as she hugged her Kenshin. She was finally happy.

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**A/N:** Well I can't say this is my best work but I hope you all liked it!! Please review!!! 


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